Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Quilting bug? Its all Doodlehead's fault.

Well not really, she just really does some nice quilts and was talking about how she was self taught, and I thought (again) I should be able to do it too.

Warning: story ahead>> You see YEARS ago I had all these tee-shirts and other stuff from being in the marching band in high school and college and I thought I could turn them into a patchwork quilt, after numerous false starts I have all the stuff and no quilt to show for it. After not getting very far I thought well maybe I should do a quilt ot two before I attempt this thing that has (apparently) never been done before. I bought too much fabric with out knowing how to pick fabric for a quilt. I did 1 (count them) one block before giving up. I disliked using the templates and it took me all day to do the one block...then I decided I did not like the color of the background (dull grey). Needless to say I have not touched the stuff in about 5 years. Wandering around Joann's I saw the block of the month kits and now am thinking I can do that....the colors are already picked the pieces cut and all I do is sew..I can handle that right? see the one I may start Here (Rhythm and Blues)

What am I DOING? I need to finish this stupid thesis and graduate! Truth is I am running away from my responsibilities and crafting and reading give me an excuse. (how do you like that analysis mom?) I don't want to go to school anymore, I just want to stitch. I am also running away from the fact that once AGAIN we have NO money for christmas, and I can't give the way my heart wants too, and AGAIN it hurts so much that it drowns the christmas spirit in me and I hate that. I hate having to enter the cyclic logic of ...Do I want to decorate a might put me in the christmas mood....but it will cost $ I could of spent on it will just depress maybe decorating a tree will cheer me up...etc. everything for christmas needs $ travel/ gifts/cards/decor. I just want for ONCE a Christmas where $ is not the sole decision maker in EVERYthing we do ...there... that is what I really want for Christmas. Is Santa listening? Heck no he only listens to the children. Adults? shoot you're on your *&#$@&* own.

Thank you for letting me vent, If you made it this far I have some good news, I did turn in my results to my advisor on monday and I plan on turning in my discussion by christmas. yippee.


Lee said...

Oh sweetie, do some free stuff. Are there any holiday concerts at local churches? How about at local high schools? Light some candles - Make an advent wreath if you can scavenge some greens and use any candles you have around the house.

Having no money sucks, but it's only temporary. You'll get through this.

Anna van Schurman said...

You absolutely would not be earning your degree if you didn't procrastinate for years. Trust me, I'm a doctor...